Flawed
by buffyangelinfinitdesire
Summary: A version of Jade Dumps Beck in which Cat discovers anger and Beck isn't perfect.
1. Cat

_AN: / This takes place during Jade Dumps Beck. It's basically what I think should've happened now that I've seen episodes like Beggin' on your knees where he gave her a time out and no one saw anything wrong with that. He's the only one who'll put up with her, but I'm pretty sure no one else would put up with him either./_

You really aren't totally sure what this feeling is, but you're starting to understand why Jade's so mean all the time. You just want to hit somebody or throw something but that's what angry people do. Oh! You're _angry_. That makes sense.

You can feel it building up in your tummy every time Beck so much as looks in your direction. You don't really know what happened, but you know he hurt Jade and he was the one person she really trusted other than you. You never thought he was that great of a boyfriend anyway, because he gets super bossy sometimes and never takes her side and acts like he doesn't care about her at all and flirts with other girls just to upset her, which you think is really mean.

You like Beck, he's really nice most of the time, but he's nicer to you and Tori than he is to the girl he keeps saying he loves, and then he acts like she's crazy when she get's jealous. Maybe she wouldn't be so insecure if he would pay attention to her every once and a while instead of talking to Tori or Alyssa Vaughn or even you.

Beck is your friend, but Jade is your _best _friend, and she's protected you for years so maybe it's your turn. She wouldn't even come to school today no matter how much you begged her to and even though she slept over, she wouldn't talk about Beck or really anything important. She just mostly let you talk and nodded at the right times, but she didn't laugh or smile or look even a little bit happy the whole time. She didn't cry, but it might have been better if she did, then you would at least know she would be okay eventually.

But you don't know that. Jade's been hurt a lot by her parents and her popular friends and pretty much everyone else she's ever let in even a little and there's only so many times a heart can break before it can't be put back together anymore, like humpty dumpty or like how a cat only has nine lives and then it's really dead forever.

If Beck's the one that killed Jade-cat forever, you're gonna not be his friend anymore. And hit him, you're also gonna hit him. Because it needs to be done. Even if Jade is okay, you're still gonna hit him. In fact, you're gonna hit him right now.

Everyone looks surprised when you walk up to Beck and slap him really hard. Even Sikowitz stopped talking. Class wasn't as cool without Jade anyway, so whatever. You go and sit back down even though Beck's still looking at you like you've gone a little nuts. Sikowitz just starts teaching again.

You're the first one out of class but Beck still catches up to you.

"Why'd you hit me?"

He sounds bewildered and that makes you even more mad, or is it madder? No that sounds too much like matter, so it's definitely gotta be more mad. Oh, right. Angry. ROAR!

"Cause you deserved it"

"And why do you think I deserved it?"

He's talking to you like you're stupid or something. You're not the stupid one, he's the one who hurt Jade.

"You're a big meany and you made Jade sad."

He looks at you incredulously, yeah that's right, you know big words.

"Cat, _Jade_ broke up with _me_."

"I don't care, you still made her sad. And she broke up with you _because _you're a meany. So it's your fault the cat might really be dead this time!"

Now he's all confuzzled. Because he's stupid.

"The cat – dead – what do cats have to do with _anything_?"

You roll your eyes, because really, how much clearer can you be?

"She broke up with you because you always flirt with other girls right in front of her and then act like she's crazy for thinking you like other girls. You never ever take her side and you boss her around and you make her say please before you say you love her and she shouldn't even have to ask! You should just say it because you feel it! You act like you're doing her a favor by being her boyfriend, and then you told Tori you were glad you guys broke up, knowing Tori would tell Jade and Jade would be hurt! She makes a lot of mistakes, but she would never just hurt you for _fun_! Jade's the one that's too good for you, not the other way around you big – you big jerk!"

You turn and walk away as fast as you can, but not before stomping on his foot as hard as you can. Because if Jade's hurting then he should be hurting too.

_**Beck's pov**_

Well OW! When did Cat get so violent?

And what did she mean it's your fault Jade broke up with you?

Sure, sometimes you make her jealous on purpose, but you wouldn't do that if she didn't have such an amusing reaction. You act like she's crazy because she is, she's a freaking lunatic. Okay, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to brush her off when you know full well that you _are _doing _something_, even if you'd never really cheat. But again that's her fault, if she wouldn't explode over every little thing; picking at her wouldn't be so entertaining and you wouldn't push her the way you do.

You don't usually take her side because she has a tendency to be in the wrong. If she wouldn't over react so much, you would take her side more.

You don't boss her around, she just goes over the line sometimes and someone has to point it out. Someone has to put her in her place. If she wouldn't be so bratty, then you wouldn't have to be so bossy. It's her fault.

Okay, maybe you shouldn't have purposely made her think you didn't miss her at all, knowing how insecure she is. But if she hadn't been a gank and broken up with you, you wouldn't have had to say that. It's her fault.

It has to be her fault. If it's not then you don't know what to do. If it's your fault then she might not come crawling back. If it's your fault it'll be your job to fix it, to confront the problem and apologize.

You're Beck Oliver, you go with the flow. You certainly don't fight for your relationship. That's not your job, it never has been. You're Beck Oliver, laid back, care free, relaxed. You've been that way so long that you don't know how to do anything else.

It has to be her fault, because if it isn't then you might have lost her for good, and that's not an option.

AN: /I wasn't trying to say that Jade wasn't also in the wrong, because she _definitely_ was, I wanted everyone to see the contrast between Cat's loyalty and Beck's lack of it. Also, am the only one who thought him saying he was GLAD he and Jade broke up, when he clearly knew that Tori was there for Jade and it would get back to her, fairly cruel? Again, not saying he was completely in the wrong because _she_ broke up with _him_, but it was obviously not true or there wouldn't have been that whole 'who said I stopped?' scene so the only other reason to say it would be to purposely hurt her. If my boyfriend did and said stuff like that, like he didn't particularly care one way or the other if he had me or not, I wouldn't exactly feel secure that he wouldn't cheat./


	2. Jade

You keep trying to convince yourself that it's okay.

But it's _not._

You're scaring Cat and you feel pathetic for hiding like this, but you're too frozen to move.

Frozen is a much worse way to go than burned. It's slow, the pain goes on and on and you know you're dying but you can't _move_. You feel you're heart beat gradually slow down and you're oh so sleepy and you've lost the strength to hold your eyes open any longer. But no, you can't give up, your survival instinct kicks in and you're eyes open slowly, but it doesn't even matter because you're chained to the ground and you're arms and legs stopped working a long time ago. It could've been over, but there's still that horrid little buzz in the back of your head fighting to live and you just can't get rid of it. So you stay awake, feeling the ache of the cold seep all the way into your bones, and it must have somehow pierced your lungs because it's so hard to breathe and you're getting just enough oxygen to keep you tethered to the agony.

It's like that, but freezing to death only takes hours, and this just might last forever. You're so close to your breaking point, so close to having nothing left, nothing to hang on to, but Cat _cares_. You kind of hate her for that, because it does nothing to dull the pain, in fact, it's the only thing keeping you from being blissfully numb. That last little bit of love is holding you back from sweet nothingness, but you don't have it in you to break away from it.

Because that little piece of love is like crack to you. You tried to get it from your parents, from Beck, form society in general. You tried to be famous, so then everyone would love you, but along came Tori Vega and you may never get another lead roll again if things keep going the way they are.

So you'll take what you can get, even if it destroys you. That's why you stayed with Beck even through the ruthless power games he loved so much, because all you had to say was please and those three sacred words came whenever you needed them. But it wasn't enough, because you shouldn't have even had to ask.

Cat loves you, and you don't ever wonder about it. She doesn't hold it over your head to see how many hoops you'll jump through to get to it. She doesn't even have to say it, it's so obvious in the way that she stayed up with you all night and tried to convince you to come to school, but she says it anyway, because she knows how much it means to you to hear the words.

What are you doing? You're Jade West, you don't just give in and let yourself freeze. You're strong. You finally get up from Cat's bed and take a shower. You borrow some of her clothes and head to your house, it's not a home, but it'll do for now.

Being strong doesn't help the pain, not even a little. But it'll get better. It has to get better, because you aren't crawling back to him this time. He doesn't want you, and you won't beg again. You won't be his plaything. That's why broke up with him in the first place, you have to remember that. You deserve to be wanted for who you are, and you won't accept anything less.

It still hurts more than you can even begin to describe, but you'll heal. You have to.


	3. Andre

Beck has been your best friend for as long as you can remember, longer than either one of you have even known of Jade West's existence.

You wanted her, she came strutting into the room that first day of seventh grade, and you were hooked. She was beautiful and terrifying and so painfully real that it broke your heart. She was like a really great song, painful and wonderful and enthralling, she was a work of art, a masterpiece. But Beck saw it too; he must have, because he started telling you all about his plans to win her over. You should've said something, should've spoken up on that very first day, but it's too late now. By voicing his interest, Beck had essentially claimed her, or at least made her off limits to his best friend.

So you watched in silence as they melded together, and it didn't hurt as much as you thought it might. It didn't kill you to watch them laugh at their own little inside jokes, you didn't feel nauseous every time you saw them kiss. Slowly, you came to the conclusion that unrequited love wasn't nearly as horrible and dramatic as every teen movie made it seem. It stung a little, but that was all.

But when ninth grade rolled around and girls started flocking to him, that was when everything got majorly screwed up. Beck didn't do what he was supposed to, didn't tell them gently but firmly that he was taken. No, he flirted right back, most of the time neglecting to even mention that he had a girlfriend. That was bad, but understandable, it was harmless. But then, he started doing it right in front of her, seeing the way her eyes filled with hurt and continuing anyway. And yeah, _that_ pissed you off.

He started forgetting that Jade was a masterpiece, that he would never find someone like her if he spent the rest of his life looking. He started treating her like a burden, an annoyance, acting like he was with her because he just hadn't gotten around to breaking it off yet. Then he had the nerve to be surprised when she didn't trust him to be faithful, to look at her like she'd lost her mind.

She started yelling, because he never listened when she talked. She started getting defensive, because he always made her the bad guy. She started not trusting him, because he never gave her a reason to. Honestly, you didn't know why she stuck around.

Then you met her father, and suddenly it made sense. You hated him immediately, just because of the way Jade acted around him, like she was never going to be quite good enough to belong. The girl would do just about anything to feel loved, because she wasn't getting it from where she was supposed to.

So the first time he made her say please to tell her he loved her, you were understandably furious. You didn't say anything though, and looking back maybe you should have, but it wasn't your place. She was his, not yours.

He held love over her head like he was teasing a cat. She would jump for it and he would pull it away until she would do anything he told her just to hear the words. Every time he told her what to do, every time he made her feel like she wasn't good enough for him, you willed her to walk away, to find somebody else.

She finally walked away, leaving Beck in the dust, but she turned around, she came back and_ he_ shot _her_ down.

You want to hate him, to tell him just where he can shove his mind games, but you can't. You can't because he's your _best friend_ and she's just a girl. So what if he treated her like dirt? So what if he might have completely destroyed her? It's none of your business. Jade West isn't yours to defend, and she never will be.

You forgot her for awhile, you erased her with sparkles and sunshine and all that was Tori Vega. There was that brief moment when you weren't on her side, when you didn't care about her, and you can't help but regret it. You can't help but think that you of all people should've stayed by her side, should have made her feel like she was loved, even if only as a friend. Maybe that would've made a difference.

Maybe you could've helped her instead of just standing there as she fell to pieces. You wonder if you're the only one who saw it, who saw her slowly turn to stone and crumble. You wonder if everyone else is just as much of a coward as you are.

But most of all, you wonder why the heck you're sitting here with Beck, listening to him complain about Jade and how unreasonable she's being. You hear that tinge of desperation; that little bit of hysteria that tells you he knows. He knows he's wrong, he knows that everything he's done, especially in these last few months, has broken her heart. He knows, but he won't admit it, he won't say it out loud or do anything about it.

As long as he doesn't say it, then you can't, because once again it's not your place. You want to be mad, to punch him right in the face and go find Jade, but that would make you a hypocrite of previously unheard of proportions.

This is why you're best friends, because you're both criminally silent.


	4. Tori

You shouldn't care. Jade is mean and petty, and you should be glad that Beck is finally rid of her. But you aren't, because it's not right.

To see them alone, separate, feels wrong in some way that you can't explain. Beck and Alyssa, Beck and Tori; everything sounds fragmented and off balance next to _Beck and Jade_. Just Beck, alone, doesn't seem right either. It sounds incomplete, like someone stopped talking in the middle of a sentence. It sounds like someone who's not finished saying Beck _and Jade._

You thought you wanted Beck for yourself, but now the idea of the two of you together seems tainted and wrong. You can never love him the way Jade does. Even with her insane jealousy and unfounded accusations, the way she feels about him radiates off of her in waves.

Then again, maybe not all of her accusations are completely unfounded. You've seen the way he makes her beg for a simple 'I love you'. How secure would that make you feel? How trusting could you be of someone that hardly ever showed a reaction? You can see how she might be frustrated.

You'd always thought, like everyone else, that Beck was too good for Jade, but he doesn't seem so perfect anymore. He's always been laid back, but now he's so maddeningly apathetic that you can barely stand to be around him.

You knew that Jade needed Beck, but it's taken you this long to see that maybe he needs her too.

He put up with her, but you're starting to think that she did some putting up with as well, because if Beck shrugs at you just _one more time_, you think you might just have to hurt him.

But it's not like Jade is exactly the ideal girlfriend. She's rude, inconsiderate, constantly angry, and just way too intense. She never stopped demanding his undivided attention, never just sat back and relaxed. It would be too much for anyone to handle.

He never took anything seriously, and she never relaxed. They were two halves of a toxic whole, but they still fit together in ways no one else ever could with either of them.

You don't know who started this, who's reacting to who. You just know that Yin and Yang have separated and it's throwing the whole world off balance.


	5. Beck

Cat won't speak to you. You've never seen Cat stay mad at anyone for more than ten seconds, so the fact that Jade's back and she still hates you is kind of disconcerting.

Nothing about today is going how you thought it would. Jade's back and she hasn't even looked in your direction. She certainly hasn't tearfully begged you to take her back. She doesn't even look depressed. It's actually kind of upsetting you.

You're a little bit disgusted with yourself for even having that thought. The fact that she's not miserable is upsetting you. The fact that she's sitting there with Cat and she's okay is making you a little nauseous. You're disappointed that you haven't broken her.

And that's what this all comes down to isn't it? Breaking her, taming her, putting her in her place, hasn't that always been your goal? The answer is yes, and that's more disturbing than anything else today. It's more disturbing than pretty much anything _ever_ actually. What's _wrong_ with you? What kind of person spends two years trying to tear someone down, someone they _love_?

Because you do love her. You love her voice and her smile and her crazy mood swings. You love her combat boots and her sarcasm and how she manages to stay so beautifully pale in California. You love her, you know you do.

Then why is her pain so addictive to you? Why do get off on making her doubt herself? Why does it make you practically giddy when she begs you to love her?

This is your fault, there's no way around it. You want to fix it, to take back the last two years and do it right, but you can't. You don't know how to make this better; you've never had to before. It's always been her job to fight for your relationship and you're just now realizing that isn't how it's supposed to be.

You want to apologize, but something's gluing your mouth shut. Maybe it's pride, maybe it's fear that if she turns you down it's really over. Maybe it's everything, you don't know.


	6. Robbie

You admire her, which is odd, because most people don't look up to their bullies. It's not like she seeks you out, she doesn't care enough, but she torments you every chance she gets. She puts you down and calls you names and even hits you sometimes, and you _revel_ in it.

She says what you know everyone else is thinking; she comes right out and calls you 'the freak with the puppet'. The others aren't your friends, they don't actually like you, but you'll take what you can get. They all feel sorry for you, everyone pities the poor little crazy kid; everyone but her.

She looks at you and sees exactly what you are, a coward. You say what you think, but then you absolve yourself from all responsibility by hiding behind Rex. She doesn't humor you, doesn't pat you on the head and send you away. She looks you straight in the eye and calls you on your crap.

In times like this, when you're alone and not terrified enough to convince yourself that Rex is real, you think maybe you aren't all that different from her, maybe you could be brave too. You're every bit as mean and insulting as she is, maybe letting your words be your own is only a step away.

You like him, which is also odd, because you're so jealous of him you're surprised you haven't actually turned green. He has _everything_ and he doesn't even notice. He has parents that love him, a beautiful girlfriend that never even _looks_ at other guys, an insane amount of talent and a group of real friends. Sure, he and Jade are broken up right now, but it won't last. They're too attached to stay apart for very long.

But despite all of those things, even though he has everything you've ever wanted and takes every bit of it for granted, you like him. He's nice to you, and he _means_ it. Besides Cat, he's the only person you can really call your friend. He doesn't like you, not really, but there's nothing fake about the way he treats you.

You understand why she broke up with him. They're both closed off, but she makes an exception for him. She gives him a piece of herself that no one else has even been able to get close to, and he treats her like he treats everyone else. She devotes herself to him entirely, and he acts like it's nothing.

You understand why he does it. Jade's incredibly intense, and opening up to that would be opening himself up to a constant emotional rollercoaster. Letting anyone in to the extent Jade demands is terrifying. But she did it for him, and all she's asking for is that he puts the same amount of feeling into the relationship that she does. It's difficult, but keeping her at arm's length without ever letting her go is just cruel.

You hope he gets a clue soon, because watching him break her heart every other day is getting kind of old.


	7. Beck: On Fire

AN: The pov's are going to mostly switch back and forth between Beck and Jade now, with a few other characters throwing theirs in every once and a while.

It's not the sex that you miss as much as it is touching her in general. For two years you've been allowed to run a hand through her hair or throw an arm around her shoulders whenever you felt like it, and now you can't anymore. You don't get to pull her into your lap or kiss her just because you want to or tickle her until she can't even pretend to be annoyed anymore. You've gone from unrestricted access to none at all, and you're going through withdrawals over something you didn't know you were addicted to.

It's not that you don't miss the sexual part of the relationship, because she's _hot_ and you're sixteen and male and none of her clothes are particularly revealing but what she's wearing now clings in _all_ the right places. But you're used to wanting that and not getting it; it was a year into the relationship before she authorized any removal of clothing and another six months before you went all the way. The other stuff, the kissing and playing with her hair, you've had that for as long as you've been old enough to crave it. There's never been a time when you've wanted to hold her hand and haven't been permitted to do so, not until now.

There are other girls you could date, other girls who would let you do those things, but they hold no appeal and honestly, they never really have. You've never been interested in them except for their potential to make Jade jealous. Sure, they're nice to look at, but you've never really wanted any of them. You've never felt like you might die if you didn't find out if they were natural blondes or if their skin was as soft as it looked, there's none of the desperation that Jade's so good at pulling out of you, not with them.

She's sitting with the group again; she's right across the table from you, and the dull ache you've been feeling all week has morphed into an intense burn. You're on fire, and you know you could reach over the table and touch her to convert the heat into something so much better, but that would be a concession. That would be admitting that you need her.

And you do need her. This agonizing pain is the most you've felt for a week. Without her, you're numb to everything, good and bad. Andre's jokes aren't funny, Rex's insults aren't annoying, and there's no warmth to be found in the sun. Now you have her, but you don't and you can feel but all you can feel is pain. You could end it, you could put out the fire, but not without melting the ice and you aren't ready to let go of your protection.


	8. Jade: Almost Frozen

You aren't ready to be anywhere near Beck, but you probably never will be and you can't just isolate Cat with you forever. She likes to talk and socialize and all that dumb chiz, but she won't leave you alone; so you've got to sit at this stupid table with these idiots.

These people aren't your friends, not anymore. Friends don't abandon you for the new girl. Friends don't act like they hate you whenever she's around, even though they've been hanging out with you for years. They've made it pretty clear that they don't even _want_ to be your friends anymore.

And it should hurt. You cared about them. You trusted them and they stabbed you in the back. They're all looking at you like you're some ticking time bomb they would throw away if they weren't terrified of detonation, but it doesn't even bother you. _You don't care_. Everyone you cared about is treating you like toxic waste, unwanted and untouchable, and you really _could not care less_.

That fire that you've always had, the part of you that's been burning through your defenses in search of _him_ has been banked completely. You're entirely numb to them, numb to everything. The pain is gone, but so is everything else. You've been burning alive these last few days, but now the fire is gone. Your blissfully, deliciously numb and you realize you could keep this. You could let the ice consume you and not have to feel anymore.

_No_, you're better than that. You're _more_ than this, more than him. He's always calmed you down, and it was nice to bank the fire a little, but he won't take it away completely. You won't give it away completely, or _at all_ anymore. You fight, it's what you do, and it's who you are. You're not just powerful, you are power, you _are_ fire.

You're made of anger and love and compassion and ruthlessness, and it's all coming back. Not just what you were before the breakup, either. That was tame, that was a few flames in a fireplace, occasionally throwing out sparks, but never really burning anyone unless they stuck their idiotic little hands in. This is something else entirely.

You've realized all of this without changing your facial expression at all. To the outside observer, nothing has changed, but you feel it. You feel the heat, the power, it's radiating from the core of you to your fingertips.

You don't have to worry about Cat, she's not really flammable. You were friends with her before you let Beck shove you in a neat little compartment. She can handle the heat. You don't care if anyone else can take it. They can go screw themselves.

Maybe you are a time bomb.

_3…2…1…_


	9. Cat: Hatred

Jadey is _back_! You didn't even know she was gone, or that you missed her, but now that she's back, you realize you missed her _a lot._

You think maybe Beck was stealing her jadeness and keeping it for himself. It's almost like he's been keeping her in a cage, trying to make her his pet, and now that she's not trapped she doesn't have to be unhappy anymore. Who wouldn't be grumpy if someone put a leash on them and jerked them around all the time?

It's like all her anger and meanness was her trying to chew through the leash, and now that she has, she can be nice again.

Jade's nice isn't like other people's nice, it's quieter, sneakier. Her comforting sounds a lot like mocking, but it still makes people feel better, and her love looks a lot like indifference, but only from the outside. You like Jade's stealth-kindness better than everyone else's normal kindness, because it's always real. If she comes over, it isn't because she couldn't think of a good reason to say no, and if she talks to you on the phone for three hours, it isn't because she didn't want to be rude. You never have to wonder if she's really your friend of she's just pretending to avoid hurting your feelings.

She can still be really mean sometimes, but at least it's not like Beck's stealth-mean. He acts all nice and stuff, so it always looks like it's the other person's fault when he hurts their feelings. He's a lot more hurtful than Jade ever was, too. You hope she never goes back to him, because everything's better now that he's gone.

You think maybe you hate him, you aren't sure, because you've never hated anyone before, but you think that's what it is when just looking at something makes you angry. You see how dead he looks, how much he's hurting, and you don't feel the least bit bad for him. He deserves it, and you hope he spends the rest of his miserable life pining for the girl he almost destroyed.

Yeah, okay, you definitely hate him.

AN: I'm SO sorry it took me so long to update this. First I just couldn't think of anything, and then I had to rewire my entire Bade philosophy when I saw just how much nicer and happier she is after the breakup, and how uninteresting Beck has become. This will still have a happy Bade ending, but it's going to take longer, and be much harder on Beck. So if watching jerks suffer before they get any chance of redemption is your thing, then you're in for a treat.


End file.
